I hate choking up!

I hate when my mom yells at me about shit when she knows that it goes no where.
You say you want to take shit away from me, fucking do it. Grow some balls. I try to make a point about you and you don't even fucking listen. Yeah, you ask me to do something but, FUCK YOU'RE THE ONE WHO RAISED ME TO BE THIS WAY. Oh wait, who raised me was myself and my sister with a hint of you giving me shit. Thanks mom, thanks for fucking my life over because everything that you did and didn't do made me the way I am. Take your hormones and fucking get yourself in check because right now, yeah I'm hormonal too and you have to bring it up, fuck you fuck you fuck you. It just pisses me off. What the fuck? If you ask me to do something and I do it, you don't even fucking care but, if i don't FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH, right mom? Right!? Shit, YOU WONDER WHY KELSEY WANTS TO MOVE OUT SO BAD. It's because of you. It's because of your bullshit. Because you fucking blow up and get emotional about everything like, really do you expect me to be nice to you if you don't deserve it?! I don't give a fuck anymore, I'm going to just fuck everything up so you can bitch at me 24/7 and then you'll get so mad and everything. You'll be like, fuck fuck fuck my life is so horrible because I don't have enought money to get by, don't bring that around me don't make me feel like shit because you do.
Here let me go get a job. Here let me find some 40 year old pervert that will ruin my exsistence so you can be fucking happy with out any kids so you can drink and smoke all you want so that you can pretend that you never had kids. I'm sure you've though about what life would have been like if you never did, how wonderful it would have been to just have fun and shit. Not having to spend money on anyone but, yourself and your fucking boyfriend I'm guessing celebration after I graduate, you're fucking rid of everything you'd ever have to take care of? RIGHT? This is why I have so many fucking self problems, thanks. Thanks.